Self?

I had a dream today that made me think. In this dream I was at Wal*Mart with my family and we were going down one of the main isles and there were boxes or something in the middle of the isle to where you had to go on either side. Well there was something on the busier side of the boxes so I went on that side and my family went on the other side. I looked quickly at whatever it was. Then continued on. I thought to myself "I will cut through between the boxes just ahead to get back with them."

When I tried to go between the boxes I couldnt find myself. It was like I separated from myself. I looked frantically around and I saw plenty of people but I couldnt find me. I couldnt even think of what I looked like! I didnt know who I was in the crowd. I watched the rest of my family continue on and I didnt know if it was me walking with them or not because I couldnt recognize my own self.
Then I woke up.

I have come to know that a lot of my personality changes when I am around differnet people. For example, my laugh has changed and changed. I have no idea why but I realized a year or two ago that my laugh changes. There are other things that change all the time too about me. Its very hard to describe this but it feels like I wouldnt know who I was or how to act or what to do if it was just me. If no one else was around me. Even when I am by myself I dont know how to act, dont know how to feel.

I know I am a daughter of God but that doesnt tell me much. Everyone is a child of God. I dont even have favorites, I dont have a preference when asked my opinion usually. I only recently(like a year or so ago when I first started realizing all this) decided I like green best for my favorite color. For as long as I remember Ive always just adapted to the people around me. When asked things I like to do or my talents or things that interest me. I have a very very short list if I come with anything at all.

I tried to come up with things I was good at and what interested me and couldnt come up with anything. I think I came up with "I like to read {and in my head I was thinking "because I like to disappear in to the charaters and not be apart of this world I live in."} and maybe even "I can listen" as something Im good at.


I dont know the point of this post. I just guess I needed somewhere I could let my thoughts out.