I don't really have a topic for this post except maybe an update.
Well, I haven't written in a while so I'll catch you up.
A week or so ago my dog got hit by a car right in front of my children and I while we were waiting for the school bus. Wrinkles has been my dog for nearly 13 years. I got her when I was 10. Several times I felt like she was my only friend. She brought me comfort so many times when nothing else did. She gave an unconditional love. I've had her since she was born. I owned her mother. We basically grew up together.
It was my first real loss. I have had 2 grandmothers pass away but I wasn't all that close to either of them so their passings didn't effect me (especially since I know the gospel and know I will see them again). But loosing my little dog hurt really bad. When she got hit I couldn't help it but I screamed. I think I scared my kids to death. I hate that I scared them but that was rough. Even now just thinking about it is making me cry. I loved that dog. I knew she didn't have much longer here in this life (she had cancer) but to have her taken so fast and so violently was very VERY hard. It was hard to go through that day. I didn't send Hannah to school after that. I don't think she could have functioned. It upset her terribly. She and I once back at the house held each other and just bawled. I couldn't stop seeing her coming out from under that car. I couldn't/can't get it out of my head. My second oldest is 3. It upset her too but I think it was mine and Hannah's reactions that scared her the most.
I had to call my mom to come get her off the road so my husband could bury her when he got home because with the kids I couldn't. I don't think I could have even if it wasn't for the kids. The car didn't stop or slow down. They just kept going. They didn't even blow the horn to try to get her off the road. They hit her so hard it drug her for like 15 feet. She was all tore up. She was thankfully dead on impact. So she didn't suffer.
I miss her. I feel like the worst person in the world because I think it was all my fault. I should have put her in the house before we went down there. I should have been paying attention to where she was. I should have done something. I just miss her. I hope I will see my precious Wrinkles again and be able to tell her I am sorry for not being a better owner to her.
If this post is written bad or makes no sense please forgive me. I needed a place to vent my grief and this is the best place I've found.
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